A Whirlwind

The past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of medical information, trying to purchase a house, feeling like crap / being in pain, kids getting into trouble and kids getting sick. Today I am nearing my wits end...I am exhausted and just don't feel good. And I don't want to deal with house offers, missing meds, and my youngest' nasty cough.

I really want to climb in the bath and then crawl into bed and stay there for the next few days. But there is no possible way that I can do that, the bath ok maybe. But I'm a mom and a wife I have things to get done and my family to take care of, I can't just check out. Today I'm just praying for my daughter to feel better and not have her third double ear infection in two months, and for my oldest who is making really bad choices and getting into trouble to have a new beginning. It's funny how when I feel like throwing in the towel my prayers are always for others to get better or be better. Maybe I need to turn my prayer attention to myself...

God -

Please hold my hand and keep me in your comforting arms. Help through feeling bad and through the pain. Speak to my heart on buying a house. Help me to stay strong in body and spirit through dealing with RRMS. Thank you for keeping my family safe and for the many blessing we receive. Without your love and guidance we would be wondering in the dark.

Please help Shay away from the friends that are leading her astray. Help her make good choices and be the bright happy kid she should be. Please give her a crossroads and guide her down a path where she wont have regrets and heartache. Remind her of your love and that her family loves her, we only want great things for her.

Amen

MS Update

I feel really bad about not posting on a regular basis and not having a current devotion / study going. But with Dr. appointments and trying to do all the research I can on MS and medications, I just haven't had the time to sit with my bible and then with my blog.

I went to the Dr. on Tuesday and went with a long list of questions. My doctor was great he answered each question and explained everything. I have Relapsing and Remitting MS (RRMS) this is the best to have compared to Progressive MS. The thing that worries me the most is my doctor said that I have a well established case, meaning I have alot of lesions (also called plaques) which are areas of scare tissue. I have them from my brain down my spinal column to the T10 - T11 area (mid back).

"Treatment needs to be started NOW." thats what my doctor said. He is worried that if I don't start treatment it would be detrimental. And starting now will slow the disease and my symptoms....balance issues, memory / brain fog, tingling and burning from the waist down, itching, etc.

After talking about 8 different medications we decided that we would start with the medication that has the longest / best track record and has the least amount of side effects (this can differ greatly from patient to patient) Copaxone. It has to be injected 3 times a week and it is a pre-loaded pen similar to an Epipen. I wont start the injects for about 2 weeks, they have to be mailed to me and then a nurse has to come out and show me how to inject.

The thing I am worried about the most is the possible side effects, fatigue, nausea, body aches, and weight gain. I am a stay at home mom to a VERY active 3.5 year old daughter and with my limitations from my back injury (an impingement and herniation in my low back) I need to be at my best all the time. I need to go to the gym and do what I can do to stay in shape (ha in shape, well going to the gym and doing my limited workout so that I can try to keep losing weight and trying to get in shape). I don't want to be sick and stuck in bed, having to rely on my family and friends to take care of my kids and my house, etc.

I guess I have to take my husbands advise to stop worrying, we will deal with it as it comes. I have to remember to give it to God, stop trying to handle it all alone for He is the one who controls the situation. I pray each day that He will continue to hold my hand and keep me in his loving arms through this whole thing. God would not have put where I am if there was not a purpose!

Today is the Day

Today is the day that I meet with my Neurologist to discuss and finalize the start of my MS (multiple sclerosis) treatment. I have to be 100% honest I am struggling today. My husband keeps telling me not to stress that we will deal with it as it comes, one day at a time. But I'm scared of what treatment might bring, sickness, fatigue, and the inability to be me...a mom, a wife, a sister, a friend and in-charge of my household.

I am so emotional and stressed. I found this website / webpage and it reminded me that sitting in worry is not what I should be doing right now, there is someone that I should be turning to for comfort, God.

http://godsgracefulness.com

The moment I feel afraid or overwhelmed, I reach for His hand. I go directly to Him and pray.  It wasn’t always this easy. I used to just sit and worry. I would worry so much that I’d forget to pray and read the Word.

Many times we get overwhelmed with life and forget how big our God is!  God is always there to comfort us and reminding us we need to seek Him at all times in the good and bad.

Four things I’d like for us to keep in mind when feeling afraid, faithless, or overwhelmed:

1. God will comfort us: Remember your word to your servant, in which you have made me hope. This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your promisegives me life.  -Psalm 119:51

2. God wants us to rejoice in Hope and in His promises: Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. -Romans 12:12

3. Remain in His peace: I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. -John 16:33

4. Keep the faith and fight the good fight: I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. -2Tim. 4:7

Making Treatment & Lifestyle Decisions: Thinking About Benefits & Risks (video) : National Multiple Sclerosis Society

Making Treatment & Lifestyle Decisions: Thinking About Benefits & Risks (video) : National Multiple Sclerosis Society



This is such a great video for people (like me) in the early stages of an MS diagnosis

I'm not done, I have so much more to share

I wanted all my readers and followers to know that I have not abandoned my blog, I have so much to share. I am trying to figure out my MS diagnosis, 2nd opinion, treatment, etc. With all of this medical / insurance stuff I have to take some time off from blogging. I will be back next week with a new bible study series and an update on my condition and hopefully treatment.

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.

Sorry for My Absence

Hey yall, I am sorry I have been absence the last couple days. I just found out that I have MS (Multiple Sclerosis). So I have been a little overwhelmed with learning all about the disease and all the treatment plans. I can honestly say that God has been holding my hand all along the way. I normally would have been a complete mess, but from the minute I left the doctors office I prayed for his comfort and strength and I am managing.

I would love it if there are any of you reading that have MS could comment and let me know your story. 

For more information on MS check out http://www.nationalmssociety.org/ and their blog @ http://www.msconnection.org/Blog

My Prayer for Today

Yesterday and today my stress and anxiety levels have been through the roof. I feel so out of control, but I hate talking about it..so I try to bury it.

With all the normal stresses of life, being a mother, a wife, a women, having health issues, plus financial stressers, it all becomes sooo much. Sometimes I feel like I a carrying a bag of bricks on my chest and I just need a clean fresh breath. So that's what I turn to God for, He is my fresh breath!

If from reading my blog you haven't guessed my favorite place is anywhere near the ocean and my favorite colors come from its waters. I use these images for strength sometimes. I imagine the sound of the waves and the feel of the wind and mist.

On these days I also crank the MC Contemporary Christian station on my TV, Michelle Tumes "Christ of Hope" is playing right now.

"May He bring you hope

Hope you have never, never known

May the Christ of hope

Embrace you evermore"

New Study Ideas

I am leaning towards doing a women's study. Here are a few of the ideas I am tossing around.
I would really like to hear from you on what you are interested in reading about, so please email or leave me a comment below.

1. A journey through the women of the bible

2. A study of being a better Christian wife

3. How to have a strong and successful Christian marriage

4. Being a good daughter of God

5. Being a great Christian mother

I would love your ideas as well.