Namesake Week 4 Daniel Day 1: True to Our Roots

Today's Scripture: Daniel 1:1-21, Proverbs 22:6, Deuteronomy 11:18-21, Ephesians 6:4, and 2 Timothy 3:16-17

This chapter really could not have come at a better time. My husband and I have been struggling with our 14 year old daughter for the past 2 years. Her rebellious attitude, lack of respect, and getting into trouble has gotten worse and worse. This year (2014) has really been full of trials, anger, disappointment, and struggle. We feel like we are failing as parents! Did we not teach our oldest the things she needed to know / the things that we expect of her, when she was little, is it too late?

In this chapter we meet Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah - four boys who were taught from birth about their culture, beliefs, and their parents expectations of them. Even their names had such meaning that later they could fall back on the meaning for guidance.

Daniel: God is my Judge
Hananiah: Yahweh (God) is Gracious
Mishael: Who is like God?
Azariah: Yahweh (God) has helped

Each time that the boys hear their names they also hear the message that their names mean. As our children grow we share (teach) them about their family, their culture, their beliefs and responsibilities. Every time we sit down with our children or our children sit down with someone else they are learning and observing.

Here are some versus that talk about parenting children who will love God.

 Proverbs 22:6
 Deuteronomy 11:18-21
 Ephesians 6:4
 2 Timothy 3:16-17

I feel that I have done a great disservice to my oldest daughter. I had her 1 month before my 15th birthday, I was not ready to be a mom and I think that caused some of the issues we are having today. I was a child raising a child, I didn't know the things that she needed to learn - to be respectful, have great manners, love God, stay focused on school and stay away from people that are going to get you in trouble. I was learning these things myself, I didn't know that she was missing things along the way. She was influenced more from the outside world than from inside our home, how do I get all that back and get her back on track?

Please God give Chad and I your knowledge and patience to help Shay succeed and help us parent with more love, as you have loved us, and with less anger and frustration. Help Shay to take responsibility for her part and the things that she has done, stop blaming us for her bad choices. Help us please to be better parents and raise great girls who do great in life and love you.

Amen 

Teen Glam Room

Here are some of the ideas that my oldest daughter has for her new room. She really wants grey and a chevron wall. The white and black heart bedding from Pottery Barn is something that she has fallen in love with. We are going to chalk board paint her closet doors, hang some twinkle lights and make sure she has a large memo board for all her photos. So many great ideas and I love the peachy pink accent color she has chosen as well.

Ideas:

1. Chevron

2. Chalk board

3. X-Large memo board

4. Twinkle Lights

5. Puddled curtains

6. Gray and pink

7. Make-up Vanity

8. Pottery Barn Teen Heart Bedding

9. Teen Glam

10. Luxury and hipster

Friday Funday - Dinner with Family and Friends

Yes, its Friday! The weekend is here and I am in a great mood.

My best friend and wife to my husband's cousin is coming over with the kids and we are having dinner and drinks.

I am going to make Baked Chicken Flauta's, and beanny cheesy Flauta's for the kiddos.

I found the recipe on Pinterest from Hot Cookin' Mama.

You an find the recipe on my pinterest Food Board or here is the link

Bakes Chicken and Spinach Flauta's

Here is my version of the recipe

What you will need:

• Regular flour tortilla's, cut in half
• 2 / 3 chicken breasts
• 1 can stewed or roasted tomatoes
• 4 C water
• 1 tsp. paprika
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. garlic powder
• 1 tsp. cumin
• 1 tsp. chili powder
• Grated cheese
• Re fried Beans (for the beanny cheesy flauta's)
• olive oil or cooking spray
• Sour cream, guacamole or salsa for dipping

Directions:

• Place the chicken breasts in a large pan and cover with chicken broth or water
• Bring to a boil then reduce heat add tomatoes and simmer 10 minutes (or until chicken is done)
• Shred chicken and mix with seasonings
• Preheat oven to 450 degree's
• Grease a baking sheet and set aside
• Place shredded chicken and cheese along the edge of each cut tortilla and roll up starting from the edge. For the Beanny cheesy flauta's do the same way beans first then cheese.
• Place seem side down on baking sheet
• Brush with olive oil or spray with cooking spray
• Bake in the oven for 5/10 minutes each side

My BBF is making a yummy salad and we will talk the night away! I can't wait.

Hope your weekend is great and make sure to fill it with tons of memories because we only have 940 weekends before our kids turn 18. 

Hope for the Weary Mom - Chapter 7

7. Coming to the End of Yourself

How do I fight with all I have to love deeper, stronger, longer, and harder? Especially when I'm weary and have little left?

Am I on the right path? And leading my girls and husband down the right path?

These are questions I ask myself all the time, are you asking yourself similar questions?

Today I woke up in so much pain, from my back. I am always slow in the morning, I call it my granny time. I took my meds and got no relief. Its frustrating and makes me mad that I have these limitations. That when I have ten million things to do I am unable to do any of them.

Just like this chapter says I'm trudging and overwhelmed with the never-ending exhausting tasks of being a wife and mother, but then I also have the MS, injections, doctor appointments, and chronic back pain. My youngest has had a ear infection every month since April so she too has meds and follow up appointment, I see tubes in her ears in the near future. 

TIRED...that's how I feel all the time! I guess I'm coming to the end of myself and I'm having to face my sins and shortcomings.

It's important that we set aside come quiet time with God to admit our sins and shortcomings. To go to the alter, where we can empty our hearts mess out to God, where He can meet us and bless us with grace and joy. When we do this it invites the Lord to speak to us, show his unconditional love, support and He will always welcome us into his arms.

"Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus"

Worship is the greatest way to refuel.

"The joy dwelling place is found in the Lord."

From my journal,

Page 85 really spoke to me

"See the thing about worship is that it acknowledges in the very deepest part of our souls that we need Him. We can't take this journey on our own. We need the very presence of the Lord to strengthen and guide us. We need Him every hour...He wants to whisper into your heart that He loves you and will never let you go."

3. You can find an alter to kneel upon anywhere and at anytime. Make sure to make an appointment with God to kneel and meet Him.

4. Places I have met God (knelt at the alter):

Standing all alone in my living room

When I'm out on a motorcycle ride with my husband, I always feel free and joyous in times like these and pray prayers of thankfulness

In bed at time right before I fall asleep

In the car

5. My goal is to create a space in my home that is all mine where I can have a desk. A place I can sit in quiet conversation with God, and the space to do my devotions and blog work.

  

Hope for the Weary Mom - Chapter 6

Chapter 6. When The Gentle Words Won't Come

"For whatever is in your heart determines what you say." - Matthew 12:34

I have talked about this before, that in times of high stress or when I'm struggling with something I do not have gentle words. I want to be gentle, but then I feel like my daughters and others will see me as a push over or that no one hears me. I often feel that I have to be curt and sometimes straight to the point or others will not believe that I'm saying or that I don't know what I'm talking about. 

Especially with my oldest I want her to have that faith in me, believing everything I say, like when she was little. When girls are young they look up to their mothers and have trust that everything they say is true and honest. No all my daughter does is question what I say and go out of her way to proof me wrong. I don't want this frustrated feeling that I have towards me daughter, I want to show her kindness, love, and give her my gentle words. I feel like I am failing my daughters, I feel like a failure as a mother and a wife.

The issues that I have with my oldest daughter stem from the fact that we close in age and are really alot alike. She has a wall built around her - she's prickly and I try to talk to her and be gentle, but then she makes fun of me. I'm at a loss - how do I fix this? I don't know what to do!

"We live through seasons of constant failure." - Hope for the Weary Mom

I want more control over what comes out of my mouth.

NO MORE HARSHNESS

NO MORE YELLING

NO MORE HURTFUL WORDS

There are several ways shared in the book that we can relax, find rest, and look for gentle beauty in the world. I liked the idea of taking beautiful pictures. Getting down close to small beautiful things, and sharing taking pictures with my girls. Go on a walk and take pictures of seemingly simple things that we can look at later and remember the moment it was taken.

One of the exercises that I chose to do was to make a list of things that I love about each of my girls.

Shay                                                                             Cloe

Her creativity                                                                Loving Nature

1st born                                                                        Inquisitiveness

Smart                                                                           Smart

Loves books, like I do                                                  Manners

Her beauty                                                                   Her Excitement

Free spirit                                                                     Her voice

Leader                                                                         Old Soul

Her drawings                                                                Our conversations

Hope for the Weary Mom - Continues Tomorrow

The whole family went to visit my mom and dad in Nevada this past weekend. I really wanted to get away from home, relax, and have some breathing room from the stress of buying a house. But I think I stressed just as much at my mom's as I was at home. But I love visiting my parents, its home for me ♥ Our oldest daughter has been staying with the parents for the past couple weeks after finding out that she has been getting herself into some major trouble. (I'll talk more about that in a later post).

We went and walked around Virginia City NV, and then went to the shooting range. Yes we are a family that shoots together :) Cloe got her first gun a little pink .22 so cute, and she had fun shooting off a couple rounds with her dad. I'm planning a trip to go up again soon, alone so that my mom and I can get our Junkin' on. I can't wait!!!! That will be a post you wont want to miss, lots of thrifting and antiquing, eye candy for all you vintage lovers.

We came home Sunday and I was beat, which carried over to Monday. It was about 108 here and I did not feel well at all. I have heard of people talk about the tiredness of MS, an exhaustion that hits hard. Well I felt it yesterday. An all over tired where my limbs felt heavy and I just had to take a long nap. I talked about how I take strong pride in the way my home looks and is taken care of. Well my husband came home yesterday very irritated that the house was a mess. It made me feel like I had failed as a wife, that I wasn't doing my duty to take care of my home. He didn't think about my not feeling well, or how I might feel at his outpouring of irritation about the way the house looked. I think this will be the hardest part about having MS, not being able to do it all and hoping that my family will help and be understanding. So many things to adjust too.

So now that you are all up date there is some exciting news about the house we are trying to purchase - we are having the home inspection done today and the appraisal later this week. I'm starting to put my doubt about us getting the house behind me and starting to get excited about moving.

I hope you join me tomorrow for the continuation of Hope for the Weary Mom.

God bless and have a wonderful day!

Hope for the Weary Mom - Chapter 5

5. When you want to run and hide

There have been many days as a mother I have wanted to just hide, when the frustrations of the day seem to much and you just cant take any more. My oldest has really been pushing my husband and I to our breaking point lately. Rebelling against all our rules and beliefs coupled with her nasty attitude, make me want to either bang my head against the wall or simply stay hiding under me covers. My youngest is like nothing I have ever met in a 3.5 year old girl, she is more similar to a 3.5 year old boy. So much energy, she doesn't even know what to do with it all. I think she sucks it out of me!

God will often put us just where we wants us. Just like the story of Hagar - weary and worn God placed her where she would hear his voice. There is no place that we can hide from God, He knows our hearts and so knows all our hiding places. He looks intently for us, scans the world for us, to find us and show us His love and support. Its a secret game of hide and seek, one that God always wins.

Mary Magdalene and the burial of Jesus is another great example of God meeting us in our messiness. Mary went to prepare Jesus' body and there she fell broken in grief, She fell to her knees at the tomb. And it was then that Jesus spoke her name, met her in her mess. She clung to Jesus and believed in the miracle that running to him might create.

We need to cling to Jesus so that we too might have miracles performed in our lives. Hebrew 4:16 and the book of Esther are wonderful places to learn how we need to run to Him instead of running and hiding from Him.

"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength." Isaiah 40:31

From my journal,

My favorite place to relax and get away for a little while is in my backyard. I lay out in the warm sun and daydream or read while Cloe plays in her little pool. Sometimes I just sit there and listen to her playing or laugh. Its peaceful!

Lately I go to the Lord in prayer more than I read my bible. I do love reading all the stories of advice and guidance, its comforting to know that its a place I can always turn to. And there is comfort in knowing that Jesus once lived a life filled with conflicts, frustrations, and discomfort just like my life. 

There is nothing I can't tell God for he has heard it all and knows the intentions of my heart.

Hope for the Weary Mom - Chapter 2

2. Embracing Our Weakness

This chapter spoke straight to my heart and situation when we had our youngest. None of our friends had babies all their kids were 8 and over, so when I had Cloe I didn't have a girlfriend to talk to about being a new mom again (my girls are 10 years apart). I saw rather quickly how my friends didn't send me invitations hang at the lake go shopping. And I felt that my having a little one was a burden and I was alone. As she got older her energy level was through the roof and still is, a bit of a wild child. She was a toddler into everything within arms reach, even my best friend said she wasn't going to rearrange her house to accommodate a toddler that wasn't her own. Ouch right? So I started to withdraw BIG time, I didn't want to go anywhere because my house was all set up for your little one. Even now I still feel big time stress when going shopping or going to a new place with Cloe. This stress presents itself as embarrassment, anger, hateful feelings, and being really snappy and short with Cloe. 

This past Tuesday my husband and I plus Cloe and our real estate agent went and looked at 2 homes that are currently occupied. When we got home I was completely stressed to the max. I snapped and yelled at my little Cloe and my husband and it carried over into yesterday. I started an injectable medication for my MS and the stress of it all broke me. I felt alone! But this feeling is often a lie, a lie to keep us walled off from our loved ones and God. The key is to EMBRACE OUR WEAKNESS 

Brooke and Stacey write "It's OK to feel lost. It's OK to need help. It's OK to be weak."

2 Corinthians 12:9 & 10

" "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me." "For when I am, then I am strong" "

Its important to be honest about where you are in life, what your going through, who you are, and who you are not.

From my Journal,

Since my post above was rather long and I will share the answer to question  3 & 5.

3. Not being the mom I think I should be makes me feel sad, let down, frustrated, and incomplete. I want to be so much better, have more time, share, and talk more. My teenager makes me feel like I can never be what she needs. HELPLESSNESS

What are my weaknesses

1. Not enough patience (even my husband agreed with this one)

2. Quick to make a negative assessment

3. Jumping to conclusions

4. I get stressed out quickly and easily

5. I use harsh words and / or a harsh tone

New study - Hope for the Weary Mom

I just stared reading Hope for the Weary Mom by Stacy Thacker and Brooke McGlothlin, and I love it! I am already on chapter three, but I think it might be a great book and subject to discuss here on the blog.

Can be found @ http://www.amazon.com/Hope-Weary-Mom

"Right now, I have nothing to give. Nothing. Nada. I’m tired and don’t feel good and honestly, I want a break from everything. It’s not that I want to leave my family, trade them in, or get new ones. I WANT to be with them. I just want a break from hard hearts, discipline, correction." This book is written by two mom's who are just like the rest of us, just trying to figure out how to be a great mom. "Stacey and Brooke understand the hearts and needs of moms today. They speak with a voice that’s encouraging, authentic and will draw in readers from many different seasons and stages of life that have one thing in common: they need hope." ~Holley Gerth, author of You're Already Amazing

At the end of each chapter there are 5 prompt questions that I am choosing to answer in my journal during my quiet time. This is not a book review type of post, I wanted to share my struggles as a mom with all of you, and hope that this will help put me on a less bumpy as a mom. Maybe by my opening up to what I;m going through I can be there for another mom who is going through the same thing. I really encourage you to follow along and interact through comments and emails to this series. 

A Large Dose of Real Life

What a Monday and its only 12:30. My daughter got in a fight and got suspended for the rest of the year. My husband's aunt is calling me for advice on filling for divorce, and my father in law is calling trying to get a hold of my husband. 1) My daughter and I do not get along and it kills me. I am mad that she in trouble again for like the 5th time this school year. 2) I have never been divorced so how can I help you and 3) my husband is at work and I want him home.

I have to go and pick up the little one from preschool now. Sorry about the vent but what I day and its only half over.

p.s. Got back from picking up Cloe and dropped a large Ball jar full of Vanilla Chia Pudding and the shards popped Cloe's balloon puppy that her teacher made her.

What a day...and it isnt over yet! Please God give me patience, grace, and to remember to keep my frustration to myself.

The Available Parent - A Review

As I have mentioned in past posts, we have been having some struggles with our teenage daughter. I have taken to reading parenting books to gain skills and tips on how to be a better parent to my teen.

If you have ever gone to the library and looked for teen parenting books, then you know it can be like finding a needle in a haystack to find a good current book. 

On my recent trip to my local library I picked up "The Available Parent - radical optimism for raising teens and tweens" by Dr. John Duffy. To be honest I wasnt sure if I was going to get the '70 or '80's version of parenting or something a little more to date. I was pleasantly surprised, a really great book with honest advise.

"Embracing fearless parenting" that is the main subject of this book. Parents put your fears, doubts, and egos aside. Each chapter of the book starts with a quote from real teens, honest thoughts that can lead to better parenting.

"Don't assume I don't care what you think just because I say I don't care you think. Jamie, 15"

Here are the main points of this book:

1. Be an available parent

2. Always have open communication

3. Be present

4. Put fear aside

5.  Put your ego aside

6. Do NOT live through your teen / tween

7. Lectures do not work because your teen has heard it all many times and check out before the main point

8. Keep your message short and to the point

9. Don't micromanage

10. Listen to your gut

11. Laugh with your teen - life doesn't have to be so serious

12. Find common ground with your teen - you have to talk to them to find common ground

13. Unplug (you and your teen)

14. Have appropriate consequences

15. When you say NO stick to it

16. Support your teens interests

17. Build self esteem

18. Lead by example

I hope that you go and check out or purchase this book. It is a great book to read even if your children are 10 or 18 (as long as your 18 year old still lives at home). Its never to early or too late to get knowledge and skills to be the best possible parent. When we are good parents and provide a safe, fun, and encouraging home we raise great kids.

This is an independent book review. I was not given this book or paid for this review.