Namesake Week 5 Day 4: Grace and Truth

Today's Scripture: John 8:10-11, and John 1-14


After Jesus stood up and and diffused the crowd by making the women's accusers look into their own hearts, He could have simply stopped there. But as the women stood before him waiting on a verdict, wanting to know what this man / leader had to say about her actions, she knew that she was guilty of the crime. Jesus responded with grace "Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more." Jesus forgave her, set her free from her past, and set her on a new path of change. Jesus' whole ministry in a nut shell is a fine balance of offering grace and giving people the truth.

Jesus wants more for our lives, but we have to take responsibility for thoughts, actions, desires and temptations. We will always be given forgiveness, but that doesn't mean that we can continue on in our sin and make the same mistakes over and over. God sent Jesus to the world to save His people from sin. Because of His love for us He wants to protect us from the damage sin causes in our lives.

There are two main topics that I really wanted to talk about in this chapter Conviction and Condemnation. Many many Christians (especially those who are new to Christianity) struggle with differentiating between the two.

Conviction: An internal voice of God gently calling us to a better life accessible through change.

Condemnation: An internal voice (a combination of the voices of others, our selves, and the devil) that breaks up down, strips away our worth and condemns us to fail over and over.

There are two versus that can really help us during these times of conflict where we might be struggling with conviction vs. condemnation.

John 3:17

Romans 8:1

Jesus offers us the freedom from condemnation, a change to break free of rut and have a new future. It's up to us to take the offer and through God receive the knowledge and help to move toward that future!

Namesake Week 5 Day 2: Writing in the Sand

Today's Scripture: John 8:6-11, Jeremiah 31:31-34

When we look at what Jesus was doing when the Women Caught in Adultery was brought before Him for judgement, we see that Jesus was bent down writing something in the dirt. I have heard this story before and the bible does not say what Jesus was writing but we know it was words. One of the ideas (the one I love the best) is that Jesus was writing the women's name. The men that brought the women forward was just a pawn to the undoing of Jesus, so if Jesus had written her name the men would have had a very hard time continuing to see her as an object. By writing her name Jesus was saying this women is more than her sin, more than her mistakes, She has a name.

One of the other ideas that I like is that Jesus was writing a message of love, forgiveness, mercy and grace. A message that would have brought comfort to the women who's fate lied in Jesus' hands. The message must have been important for there is only one other time that Jesus (through God) wrote something and that was the 10 commandments. God wants a relationship with us that is made of love not obligation to obey a set of rules. God writes this desire to be obeyed on our hearts and wants our desires to match His desires.

One aspect of this story is the bible never questions the women's guilt, but she is as guilty of breaking God's laws as the men who accused her. If you are free of sin cast the 1st stone. The men who brought her to trial had to then look into their own hearts and one by one walked away. God longs to write His love on our hearts and wants our obedience to be willing.

Jesus,

Help me to fall in love with you. Please help my actions to flow out of my heart and have this love be reflected in my outward obedience. Come and write Your words on my heart. Show me how to desire what you desire and how best to follow your will.

Amen

Namesake Week 5 Day 1: Unnamed, But Not Unknown

 This image was found @ dreaminsoul.com

Today's Scripture: John 8:2-6, 2 Kings 4:1-7, Matthews 9:20-22, Mark 9:17-24, Psalm 139:13-14, 2 Timothy 3:16

From an early age we are taught to say "Hi my name is _____" when we want to meet someone. And we as adults would never ask personal intimate questions of someone without first making introductions and knowing someones name. Yet in the bible there are many important stories of people unnamed.

These unnamed people are more often than not given title that described their situation or a nickname based on their actions. The story that we are booking at in this chapter is that of an unnamed women who is "named" based on a moment of mistake, she is known as "The Women Caught in Adultery". Can you imagine if someone went through your passed and instead of using your name labeled you based on some bad action? None of us wants to dwell on the mistakes of our past, so it would be damaging to be constantly reminded of some bad choice by others judging you and labeling you like the scarlet letter.

Read the story of "The Women Caught in Adultery" in John 8:2-6.  A group of men brought the women before Jesus and they thought there were only two options (for they did not know that Jesus was unlike any other man) to stone her which would take power away from Rome or to pardon her which would do against the laws of Moses potentially losing respect from his followers. The men that brought this women before the temple were not concerned with her as a person, but wanted to set a trap for Jesus to discredit him and potentially get him killed. This damaged women must have been used to men using her for their own purpose, not knowing her heart, her hurts or even her name.

As she stood before "this man" Jesus he held her fate and life in his hands, this man who she could find the love she was missing and the healing that she needed. This man was her creator and "could love her more than anyone ever could". One thing is for sure her life was never the same!

Why are these stories of people who's names are never revealed in the bible? Namesake lists 4 reasons.

1. They are to show that every life no matter how small has great significance to God. 

Psalm 139:13-14

2. Their struggles and triumphs are shared so that we may learn from them. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

3. To remind us that God is the main character in our stories and it's His name that should be lifted up not ours.

Psalm 8:1-4

4. These stories may have been written without names so that we can insert our own name in the blank. 

2 Timothy 3:16

This unnamed women may have been unknown to most and still remains unnamed to us, but Jesus knew her and loved her. I sometimes feel unnoticed, insignificant. I wonder what it is that others see and love about me. What do I mean to others? I have to remind myself that God knows my heart, every dream, stumble, and joy. 

"Before I were born He saw me. Before anyone spoke my name, He knew me. According to Him, I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

Namesake Week 5 Day 4: Gods Arithmetic

Today's Scripture: John 21:1-19

Most of us are a work in progress, a mix of old and new, past and present. With God's helpful arithmetic he can guide us to subtract the negative and add the positive equaling a balanced life.

Here is an activity from this chapter of the book.

Read the following scripture and put a + or a - to indicate if it was a positive or negative moment for Peter.

Luke 22:14-20 ____

Luke 22:24 ____

Luke 22:33 ____

Luke 22:34 ____

John 13:8 ____

John 13:9 ____

Mark 14:32-41 ____

John 18:10 ____

Matthew 26:69-75 ____


"It's at our times of greatest need that Jesus can show us the great forgiveness." J.G.

One great example of God's arithmetic is found in Matthew 18:21-22. Jesus says that we are to forgive 70 x 7 times. Jesus is trying to tell us not to keep count or keep a grudge of how many times someone sins against us, but that we should forgive more often than we can count.

For every mistake that we make Jesus adds another chance, He doesn't subtract his grace or mercy He just adds another 1, if you turn away from His 7 times he will give you 8 chances at redemption.

God's Arithmetic will never add up, but will always make sense to us all in the end.

Namesake Week 5 Day 3: Disappointing God

Today's Scripture: Luke 22:31-34, Luke 22:54-62

A few years ago a co-worker of mine told me "You can't hold others to the expectations that you hold yourself too." After all these years that advise still stays with me, I remind myself of it whenever I feel disappointed by the actions of others. I think that some people (some Christians even) wonder what is the positive in living in this post-Eden imperfect world? Jessica LaGrone's response is "we get to see how God deals with disappointment" Just live a parent, when God feels disappointment with us its because we are making bad choices and He only wants the best for us. The best thing about God and a lesson that we should all learn is even when deeply disappointment God response with GRACE. God will reach out to us again, and again, and again.

Here are some examples of God's grace:

Ephesians 2:8-9

Hebrews 4:16

Romans 5:1-2

"When we act in disappointing ways, God is not surprised. He knows us better than we know ourselves, and He is ready to respond with Grace. He also knows that failure is like a sieve that can strengthen us. " Jessica LaGrone

I have a really hard time with expectations and disappointment as a mom and wife! God must deal with this as well, being our Holy Father, but he shows us unconditional love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. These qualities are the ones that I strive for everyday. To show my children that when we are disappointed we can still be gentle and not lash out or recoil, we need to extend understanding and love. We have a choice just like God has a choice to reject us or to work on us.

Namesake Week 5 Day 2 - Change

Today's Scripture: Matthew 16: 13-20 and 16:21-23, Isaiah 55:8-9, Romans 12:1-2 and 2 Corinthians 3:17-18

Blogging is essentially an online digital journal, typing or physically writing out our successes and struggles can bring solutions to light. I don't need to go back and read my oldest posts to know that I deal with the same struggles and temptations today as years ago, three steps forward and sometimes 10 back. (The same thing I deal with medically).

Life is all about ups and downs. Everyone deals with it, even Peter. I'm sure he was struggling with leaving his whole life behind to follow Jesus, that his life was shaken when Jesus changed his name and he would be the "foundation" of Jesus' church. His journal would also speak of his willingness and resistance to change - a spiritual yo-yo. When we read the gospels of Peter (and Simon Peter) we will see Peter is at his highest followed by his deepest lows.

In Matthew 16:21 we read about how Jesus told the disciples of the tests He would soon have to go through and how these tests will be necessary to prove God's love and power. Peter loved Jesus so much that when he heard this he asked Jesus if there was any way he would not sacrifice himself and instead lead His people. Jesus called Peter "Satan" (in Hebrew Satan means to obstruct or oppose). When Peter voiced his concern and questioned God's plan through Jesus he was obstructing Jesus' path. He went from the high of being renamed and being the rock to the low of Jesus telling him he was like Satan.

Most of us, especially in today's world we don't like to wait. We want to change and do it immediately, but God normally works through us to change that can take a lifetime. When we give our lives over to God we have to remember that just with most things in life "it takes work". We cannot expect that once we reach out to God we won't struggle or temptations will instantly fade away. "Even as we walk with God we will sometimes fall down" Jessica LaGrone. We have to remember that the process is just as important as the end result. And thank God for his patience, grace and love!

In the Act on it section I made a graph of my journey with God.

Namesake Week 2 Day 4: The Divine Wrestling Match

Today's Scripture: Genesis : 32:22-30, Hosea 12:3-4, and Isaiah 43:1-7

Have you ever walked into an event or maybe church and felt like no one could ever relate to you? For the most part people will always put on a happy face and walk around looking their best, when inside they are at their worst. Jessica calls this "Comparing your inside to someone else's outside." It's sometimes hard to remember that everyone is struggling with something.

 The other day I had to go get my vitamin D level checked, they was a little bit of a wait but I had time since my youngest was at preschool. While I was waiting the lady next to me started talking to her mom about her daughter and how she is suffering from lime disease. She talked about how sick she was just months ago and how they feared loosing her completely. She told her mom how she and her husband have leaned on the church and each other. You never would have guessed that this family was battled something so hard.

Seeing Jacob from the outside you would have thought that he was happy and successful. He had a large family, wealth, land, and livestock. But Jacob was a total mess on the inside, he took what wasn't his, rain from his mistakes and turned away from his past. With all that Jacob had we was dissatisfied and discontent. He finally decided it was time to pack up and go face his past. When Jacob and his followers reached the Jabbok river he sent all his possessions and sent them across with all his people. And there Jacob was all alone and empty, but he wasn't alone for long. Genesis 32:24 "So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak" At the end of the fight the man asked "What is your name?" and Jacob answered "I am Jacob". Finally an honest answer! The man (the heavenly father) blessed Jacob. God then renamed Jacob "Israel". When we are honest about our desperate state and our need for God, then He can start changing and molding us into the ones He wants us to be.

Jacob learned that the more he gained, the more he lost. When he let go, the more he gained. We have to stop trying to manage our mess all alone. By turning it over to God He will work with us and help us to make the needed changes to improve our situation.

Read Matthew 16:24-26 and Isaiah 43:1-7

"God will always be there to offer a new blessing, a new name, and a new chance to be be declared His children."

At the end of this chapter there is an activity to draw a river, on one side list the things you've been clinging to. On the other side write your name, God's name and write a prayer to help you let go and cling only to God.

Namesake Week 2 Day 2: Brotherly Love

Namesake

Week 2

Day 2

Brotherly Love

Today's Scripture: Genesis 25:27-34, Philippians 2:3-4, and Romans 12:10

This chapter is titled Brotherly Love, but its really about loving one another no matter who the other person is family or not.

One of the hardest things about family (or people close enough to call family) is the rivalry that can grow between you. Jacob and Esau had rival right from the start, they fought for room in their mother's womb. They fought at birth for who would be born first and they fought over their birthright. Jacob was not satisfied with being the second son and when Esau came to Jacob while he was cooking, Esau was famished and asked for some of the meal. Jacob took advantage of this weakness and traded the food for Esau' birthright as the first son.

Birthright -
Material and spiritual blessing and inheritance combined with the authority given only to the firstborn son.

Both brothers experienced a sense of instant gratification / short-term pleasure when Jacob did the exchange with Esau, but they would also have long-term regret. Jacob really is the best example of forfeiting a relationship for material gain.

"Be devote to one another in love. 

Honor one another about yourselves"

Romans 12:10 

The first step to being able to love and respect others is to love and respect ourselves first. If we don't start with this step our relationships with others will always be tainted with neediness and self-interest. We can't expect a friendship to fulfill us, a friendship is made to compliment our lives. Once we feel self-worth and love in Christ, we will want others to feel it to, and we wont be able to contain it.

Here are some scriptures laying out the guidelines for how to treat one another.

Romans 15:7
1 Corinthians 1:10
Ephesians 4:2
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Galatians 6:2
Luke 6:31

Sometimes its hardest to put others first, and to love and respect those that we are closest to. I find it easier to overlook flaws of people that I don't see everyday, but I'm around my family all the time so it becomes harder to overlook their shortcomings. I need to print these scriptures out and put them on the fridge to remind us all how to love each other.

My prayer for tonight is to pray for my daughter, to accept her as she is (Romans 5:17), to be patient with her (Ephesians 4:2). I need to be more gentle and understanding of my daughter, instead of judgmental and irritated with her.

"So encourage each other and build each other up" 1 Thessalonians 5:11. This is my mission as a mother, to build my daughters up and make them the most confident and happy girls they can be.

Namesake - Week 2: What name is Given This Child? Part 2 of 2

Today's Scripture: Exodus 2:1-10

Yesterday we talked a little bit about how a person's name can become their identity, good or bad. Our names have all kinds of meaning or represent characteristics our parents thought we would have. Jacob's name had a double meaning 1 positive and 1 negative. As Jacob grew he made the decision to fulfill the more negative traits of his name story.

Today we read Exodus 2:1-10 which is the story of Moses. Moses' name also ends up having a double meaning. When Moses was born his mother put him in a bed of reeds where the pharaohs daughter found him. He was nursed and brought up his biological mother and then adopted by the pharaohs daughter. She named him Moses for "I lifted him out of the water". Later in Exodus 3:10 the Lord comes to Moses and says "You must lead my people of Israel out of Egypt." So Moses lifted the people out of Egypt, and right then the second meaning of Moses' name comes to light. 

Lets look at our names now. I have many names Babe, mom, mommy, Lins, honey. When I was little my dad called me his "little angel". All of these names are positive and make me feel happy, loved, protected, etc. But there are also names that I have been called that aren't so warm and fuzzy. Immature, hateful, fat, always in a hurry, hot head, etc. How do we deal with this battle of positive and negative? Not to mention that especially as parents we too are responsible for naming others, people we love, family, children, spouse, and our friends. We speak names over all of them. 

I believe that when women are pregnant (and this applies to the dad as well) we speak to God our dreams and fears for our child. There is a conversation that happens between the parents and God and during that conversation our names are spoken and God approves, and so God does chose our name. Sometimes this is one all in our heart, we wake up one morning and say "I am going to name our baby ________." There are other times like with Jacob when the name just pops up and is attached to the baby for better or worse.

Our challenge and this might be daily for most of us, I know that many times during the day I deal with naming myself negative and positive names. We have to sort out these names, identify and remove the names that don't fit God's vision for us. We need to hold on to the greatness of our name which came from God. 

The negative names don't have to stick and define who we are, but we have to work on removing and replacing these names. The only names that should matter are the ones that represent God's dream for us, that will mold us into the person that God wants us to be.

Additional reading, God's names for us His people: Judges 6:12, Isaiah 41:9-10, Ephesians 2:10, 1 Corinthians 3:16-17, and 1 Peter 2:9

"No name is permanent if God wants to change it. 

God always has the power to start us over on a better-named path, showering us with His grace." -Jessica LaGrone, Namesake

Namesake Week 1 Day 3: Promises, Promises

Today's Scripture: Genesis 17:1-8, Genesis 17:6, 15-16, Galatians 3:26-29, and Romans 9:8

The following passages show God's Promises,

Numbers 23:19 - God doesn't lie, fail to act, or change his mind. He is not human and so he always carries through

Joshua 23:14 - Every promise God makes comes true.

John 14:1-2 - Trust in God for he will always make room for you.

2 Peter 3:9 - God is patient and wants / waits for everyone to repent and find Him.

Abraham and Sarah grew up in a polytheism (the belief in multiple gods) families. They had no experience with God and his promises. They were not used to a God who only wanted their love in return for the promises and fulfillment of a great life / future. God sought out and fulfilled every promise that He made to Abraham and Sarah without the need for sacrifices or manipulation. 

There are three promises that God makes to his people

1. People - God came to Abraham and Sarah and promised them not only a child that they so desperately wanted, but he also promised them a family as plentiful as the stars. He promised them "People" a family line. (Galatians 3:26-29)

2. Place - In Genesis 17 God promises "The whole land of Canaan, where you are now an alien, I will give as an everlasting possession to you and your descendants after you." In the days of the Bible a persons wealth was determined based on your offspring and the land you owned. By God promising Abraham and Sarah a nation and giving them a beautiful and fruitful land. He gave them a "Place".

3. Presence - God offered Abraham and Sarah and ALL OF US one of the greatest things he can - he offers us His presence. The greatest promise of all someone to walk beside us and guide us. A covenant to be our God forever and to be the God of our children and their children and on and on. "His commitment to walk with us as His children." Jessica LaGrone Namesake

Additional passages about God's presence 

Psalm 16:11, Psalm 41:12, and Acts 17:28

God's blessings in my life:

God has blessed me by providing people that bring me joy - My husband, my daughters, friends that come and one and my sister. These are the people besides my parents and in-laws that bring laughter and joy to my life.

God has blessed me by providing places that I treasure - The ocean, the mountains, my past homes and the beach houses where we have vacationed.

Hope for the Weary Mom - Chapter 10

10. Let's Walk Together

We moms need to stick together. We cannot go through life alone, we need each other. God's whole design for us is that we join together and walk through life with others and not alone.

Many of us, I hope all of us have at least that one person, a best friend that they can call and talk to or visit with regularly. But we all have seasons in life where we will be alone. Whether it be life, or kids, or illness, or a move. I pray these seasons are short, and that we remember God is still there. In times like these God is more than likely molding you and working behind the scenes on our hearts, changing us in ways we will not release until we are on the other side. God has a plan for our hearts and we need to stop, smile, and remember all that He has & will provide for us. 

If you are in one of those lonely places - pray for a friends ask God to bring a friend into your life. Ask for bravery to step out of your comfort zone and meet other moms.

Important Note: Friends don't complete your life, only God can complete your life and make it whole. Friends are there to compliment you and add laughter o your life.

We need to come together as women, wife's and moms. Join hands and walk a lifetime together. Encourage, enrich, and inspire one another!

From my Journal,

I have shared before that after I had my youngest Cloe (who is now 3.5) that I was alone. None of my friends at the time had small children. After the 1st couple weeks no one wanted to slow down and spend time with a newborn. I felt ditched and excluded. Shortly after my little turned 1 I lost all my friends and was truly alone. For months I cried and felt betrayed and angry. But I kept busy and turned to God. I started attending church reading the word. He repaired alot of brokenness inside me, molded me and put my priorities back in the correct order. I AM BETTER BECAUSE OF THAT LONELY TIME.

The whole purpose of my blog is to share my life and my stories to with women, wife's, and mothers who are like me. To try to create a place where others can share their stories too, where they will be hugged and supported, NOT judged.  

"For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them." Matthew 18:20

I forgot, I am going to start reading Namesake by Jessica LaGrone on Monday the 28th. I think this is going to be a really good one. If you want to read along make sure to pick this one up and the companion book Six Keys to a Transformed Life.

Hope for the Weary Mom - Chapter 9

9. When the World Presses In

I am not going to go very in depth on this chapter, since deep hurt and loss have not hit my life yet. I have had people close to me die, but I have not had anyone in my immediate family pass. I give my sincere condolences to those have.

During the hardest of times please remember that God does walk away from us we walk away from God, but all we have to do is turn around and He will be there waiting.

Her are some tips for preparing for and getting through when the world presses in on you.

1. Build your foundation now 

-Build your life on the rock and on the word of God. 

-Don't wait for tomorrow to give your life to God, build an intimate relationship with God.

-Build, Build, Build

-Find a church and surround yourself with people that have a strong relationship with God. 

-Find time everyday to pray and read the word

-Say "Yes" to God, commit to obey His word.

2. Try hard not to walk through life alone

-Meet your neighbors

-Join one of the groups at your church

-Stay close to your family

-Invest in relationships with others outside your household

3. Keep talking to God

-Tell God how you feel

-God is big enough to handle all our feelings, so let him have it all

4. Refuse to let go of hope

"There is life beyond the tragedy It's hard to see that or accept it when you're tight in the middle." - Tracey Hope for the Weary Mom

Tomorrow is the last chapter of this study so make sure to check in tomorrow for that and info on what I'm reading next.

Hope for the Weary Mom - Chapter 8

8. When You Want to Give Up

Mothering requires all of a woman. From the time you conceive you have to give your body, soul, mind and heart to your kids. Its a great thing that women-child bond, but it can sometimes seem like a curse.

When we have given it all and are then pushed, pulled, and tugged plus our coaxing, begging, and praying - and then nothing changes. We are often left empty, worn out and exhausted.

Wanting to give up

During times like these we can enter into a season of faltering faith. We don't want to hear God's voice. God might be answering your prayers by changing your heart not your circumstance. Sometimes God is outside the mess, but speaks to the mess before he sits down next to us in our mess.

A great story about being exhausted and God asking for a little more is Peter and the fishing nets - cast out your nests. Luke 5:1-9

(questions 1 of the chapter questions) Trying one more time is kind of what parenting is all about. Not giving up on our kids, but trying again through all the pain, anger, and frustration. My husband has always told me to try again tomorrow, it doesn't have to be completed today. And its true - potty training is not done in one day there are very little thing that we teach our children that can be taught in one day. "Holding out that flicker of hope, enough to propel your feet forward one more stop of faith, matters to God." - Hope for the weary Mom

God provides our salvation, we can't earn it and there's nothing we can do to earn our kids salvation. 

From my journal,

I have to remember that it's God plan and even with all my obedience and prayer that following God doesn't bring instant change for me and my family.

"Salvation doesn't come by the work of our hands."

This is really hard for me because my husband and oldest daughter are not very religious and are not strong believers. I pray almost every day for God to speak to their hearts so that they will be able to enjoy faith like I do. So that we can be a closer family in our common faith. "Because God created our hearts He knows the best way to reach them." - Hope for the Weary Mom

4. I proclaim to the world and to God that I will NEVER give up on my family and my girls. I know that God will reach the hearts of my family when the time is right. 

God - 

When I become weary and have nothing left. 

Please remind me that I have the strength to go on and not give up. 

- Amen

Hope for the Weary Mom - Chapter 7

7. Coming to the End of Yourself

How do I fight with all I have to love deeper, stronger, longer, and harder? Especially when I'm weary and have little left?

Am I on the right path? And leading my girls and husband down the right path?

These are questions I ask myself all the time, are you asking yourself similar questions?

Today I woke up in so much pain, from my back. I am always slow in the morning, I call it my granny time. I took my meds and got no relief. Its frustrating and makes me mad that I have these limitations. That when I have ten million things to do I am unable to do any of them.

Just like this chapter says I'm trudging and overwhelmed with the never-ending exhausting tasks of being a wife and mother, but then I also have the MS, injections, doctor appointments, and chronic back pain. My youngest has had a ear infection every month since April so she too has meds and follow up appointment, I see tubes in her ears in the near future. 

TIRED...that's how I feel all the time! I guess I'm coming to the end of myself and I'm having to face my sins and shortcomings.

It's important that we set aside come quiet time with God to admit our sins and shortcomings. To go to the alter, where we can empty our hearts mess out to God, where He can meet us and bless us with grace and joy. When we do this it invites the Lord to speak to us, show his unconditional love, support and He will always welcome us into his arms.

"Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus"

Worship is the greatest way to refuel.

"The joy dwelling place is found in the Lord."

From my journal,

Page 85 really spoke to me

"See the thing about worship is that it acknowledges in the very deepest part of our souls that we need Him. We can't take this journey on our own. We need the very presence of the Lord to strengthen and guide us. We need Him every hour...He wants to whisper into your heart that He loves you and will never let you go."

3. You can find an alter to kneel upon anywhere and at anytime. Make sure to make an appointment with God to kneel and meet Him.

4. Places I have met God (knelt at the alter):

Standing all alone in my living room

When I'm out on a motorcycle ride with my husband, I always feel free and joyous in times like these and pray prayers of thankfulness

In bed at time right before I fall asleep

In the car

5. My goal is to create a space in my home that is all mine where I can have a desk. A place I can sit in quiet conversation with God, and the space to do my devotions and blog work.

  

Hope for the Weary Mom - Chapter 6

Chapter 6. When The Gentle Words Won't Come

"For whatever is in your heart determines what you say." - Matthew 12:34

I have talked about this before, that in times of high stress or when I'm struggling with something I do not have gentle words. I want to be gentle, but then I feel like my daughters and others will see me as a push over or that no one hears me. I often feel that I have to be curt and sometimes straight to the point or others will not believe that I'm saying or that I don't know what I'm talking about. 

Especially with my oldest I want her to have that faith in me, believing everything I say, like when she was little. When girls are young they look up to their mothers and have trust that everything they say is true and honest. No all my daughter does is question what I say and go out of her way to proof me wrong. I don't want this frustrated feeling that I have towards me daughter, I want to show her kindness, love, and give her my gentle words. I feel like I am failing my daughters, I feel like a failure as a mother and a wife.

The issues that I have with my oldest daughter stem from the fact that we close in age and are really alot alike. She has a wall built around her - she's prickly and I try to talk to her and be gentle, but then she makes fun of me. I'm at a loss - how do I fix this? I don't know what to do!

"We live through seasons of constant failure." - Hope for the Weary Mom

I want more control over what comes out of my mouth.

NO MORE HARSHNESS

NO MORE YELLING

NO MORE HURTFUL WORDS

There are several ways shared in the book that we can relax, find rest, and look for gentle beauty in the world. I liked the idea of taking beautiful pictures. Getting down close to small beautiful things, and sharing taking pictures with my girls. Go on a walk and take pictures of seemingly simple things that we can look at later and remember the moment it was taken.

One of the exercises that I chose to do was to make a list of things that I love about each of my girls.

Shay                                                                             Cloe

Her creativity                                                                Loving Nature

1st born                                                                        Inquisitiveness

Smart                                                                           Smart

Loves books, like I do                                                  Manners

Her beauty                                                                   Her Excitement

Free spirit                                                                     Her voice

Leader                                                                         Old Soul

Her drawings                                                                Our conversations

Hope for the Weary Mom - Chapter 3

3. When you just don't measure up

In chapter three the idea of "removing the veil" is talked about. Saying out load all of our shortcomings as moms. Telling others about our struggles. This is not an easy thing for most moms, we take pride in being "perfect" moms, so to show what really happens inside our homes is hard. It makes us feel that we just don't measure up, we are less than other moms. 

Do you ever hide behind Fine? You know when your having a bad day or things are rough and someone asks how are you? and you answer "fine". I do this all the time, hide my feelings and pain behind the word FINE. Only my best friend and my husband know that FINE is a lie. 

I know that I put unrealistic expectations on myself and my kids, plus I feel expectations from others. And then when I don't meet these expectations I will broken, angry, and depressed. The thing I need to remember, that we all need to remember, is He has no expectations of me. "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

I need to ask for hope and grace for "He has no expectations of me."

From my journal,

1. I struggle with stress every day. It turns me into another person. I become a sharp, short and angry person that I don't want to be. Part of that comes from wanting to be the "perfect" mom and wife and I just can't let go of that image. Words that I use to describe me are "messy, worn out, and out of control."

2. I think 20% of the time the words I used to describe me are true. I don't think God has the same opinion. I can image him telling me to slow down. To not try and do it all, to have others help me and get organized so I can get more done in a timely manner. I learn that there are things that wait until tomorrow, prioritize. 

3. Do you every compare yourself, your family, your finances and your home to others? How often? I do it all the time, many many times a day. And then I feel like I'm less, have less, and don't' measure up!

4. Verses of Strength:

Philippians 4:13

Psalms 116:2

2 Timothy 1:7

James 4:8

Jeremiah 29:11

New study - Hope for the Weary Mom

I just stared reading Hope for the Weary Mom by Stacy Thacker and Brooke McGlothlin, and I love it! I am already on chapter three, but I think it might be a great book and subject to discuss here on the blog.

Can be found @ http://www.amazon.com/Hope-Weary-Mom

"Right now, I have nothing to give. Nothing. Nada. I’m tired and don’t feel good and honestly, I want a break from everything. It’s not that I want to leave my family, trade them in, or get new ones. I WANT to be with them. I just want a break from hard hearts, discipline, correction." This book is written by two mom's who are just like the rest of us, just trying to figure out how to be a great mom. "Stacey and Brooke understand the hearts and needs of moms today. They speak with a voice that’s encouraging, authentic and will draw in readers from many different seasons and stages of life that have one thing in common: they need hope." ~Holley Gerth, author of You're Already Amazing

At the end of each chapter there are 5 prompt questions that I am choosing to answer in my journal during my quiet time. This is not a book review type of post, I wanted to share my struggles as a mom with all of you, and hope that this will help put me on a less bumpy as a mom. Maybe by my opening up to what I;m going through I can be there for another mom who is going through the same thing. I really encourage you to follow along and interact through comments and emails to this series. 

A Whirlwind

The past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of medical information, trying to purchase a house, feeling like crap / being in pain, kids getting into trouble and kids getting sick. Today I am nearing my wits end...I am exhausted and just don't feel good. And I don't want to deal with house offers, missing meds, and my youngest' nasty cough.

I really want to climb in the bath and then crawl into bed and stay there for the next few days. But there is no possible way that I can do that, the bath ok maybe. But I'm a mom and a wife I have things to get done and my family to take care of, I can't just check out. Today I'm just praying for my daughter to feel better and not have her third double ear infection in two months, and for my oldest who is making really bad choices and getting into trouble to have a new beginning. It's funny how when I feel like throwing in the towel my prayers are always for others to get better or be better. Maybe I need to turn my prayer attention to myself...

God -

Please hold my hand and keep me in your comforting arms. Help through feeling bad and through the pain. Speak to my heart on buying a house. Help me to stay strong in body and spirit through dealing with RRMS. Thank you for keeping my family safe and for the many blessing we receive. Without your love and guidance we would be wondering in the dark.

Please help Shay away from the friends that are leading her astray. Help her make good choices and be the bright happy kid she should be. Please give her a crossroads and guide her down a path where she wont have regrets and heartache. Remind her of your love and that her family loves her, we only want great things for her.

Amen

New Study Ideas

I am leaning towards doing a women's study. Here are a few of the ideas I am tossing around.
I would really like to hear from you on what you are interested in reading about, so please email or leave me a comment below.

1. A journey through the women of the bible

2. A study of being a better Christian wife

3. How to have a strong and successful Christian marriage

4. Being a good daughter of God

5. Being a great Christian mother

I would love your ideas as well.

A Large Dose of Real Life

What a Monday and its only 12:30. My daughter got in a fight and got suspended for the rest of the year. My husband's aunt is calling me for advice on filling for divorce, and my father in law is calling trying to get a hold of my husband. 1) My daughter and I do not get along and it kills me. I am mad that she in trouble again for like the 5th time this school year. 2) I have never been divorced so how can I help you and 3) my husband is at work and I want him home.

I have to go and pick up the little one from preschool now. Sorry about the vent but what I day and its only half over.

p.s. Got back from picking up Cloe and dropped a large Ball jar full of Vanilla Chia Pudding and the shards popped Cloe's balloon puppy that her teacher made her.

What a day...and it isnt over yet! Please God give me patience, grace, and to remember to keep my frustration to myself.